After committing to go for maximum beard growth, I’ve taken it upon myself to seek aid from science where my genetics fall short. I have grown out a beard once before, although my inexperience and lack of patience showed as I trimmed and shaped incessantly and thus came up with less than what I might have had. My mustache is a strength, coming in full and thick. My chin is a veritable den of whiskers, producing a bountiful harvest of fur capable of producing a goatee any goat would be proud of.
My cheeks however, they are a plague upon both sides of my face. Sparse growth, with large gaps where seemingly no follicles exist, they have kept me from experiencing the full majesty of the rockin’ beard. The left side is literally without sideburns, which draws my eye and my ire.
I could just go with my strengths, and grow a full, bushy stache with generous goatee, leaving the sides short to create the Scruffy Goat, or trim the sides for a clean Circle Beard. Yes, I could do that. And it would be essentially effortless. However, I would still yearn. Until I have given it every effort, I will never be truly satisfied and so I turn to minoxidil. I have done what I consider to be sufficient research to take this step and do so with both eyes wide open. I have no fear of side effects, and the costs are not nearly as prohibitive as I might have expected. For only $12, I have obtained a month’s supply and will begin my first application upon completion of this missive.
My thanks go out to all the bearded brethren of the internet who have shared their stories, their successes, their techniques and their wisdom so that I too may embark upon a journey of discovery and new growth. Behold the challenge that lies ahead:
I will attempt to turn these thin and wispy cheeks into a hedge of which a man can be proud, using all the tools available to the modern Homo Sapien male.
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