Sometimes 

Every once in a while, I’ll get this sensation that is calming and reassuring. I notice that my thoughts are clear, perfectly aligned with the universe and everything makes sense. I mean it doesn’t, the universe is chaos, but the chaos seems perfectly reasonable. In these moments I wish I could express the sensation to someone else, to share the insight, but I don’t have the words because I don’t have the insight. It just exists there in my mind, but then it starts to slide because I realize it’s just a feeling, caused by chemicals in my brain. Nothing makes any sense and the chaos is anything but reasonable. There’s immense suffering everywhere, and horrible things happen to perfectly good people for no reason at all. 150,000 people died today and I didn’t know any of them and they didn’t know me and it doesn’t even matter and no one even cares. But sometimes, every once in a while, I’ll get this sensation…