For those who know me well–how well do we know anyone, including ourselves?–they know I seek to have less rather than more. This isn’t limited to material possessions, although that’s the most obvious attribute, but striving toward honestly not having a desire or a craving for anything at all. I don’t exactly know when I realized the importance of pursuing this state of mind, but it may have been when I was dealing with high levels of anxiety but had yet to be diagnosed or medicated for it. I studied Taoism and Buddhism for a time and came to learn that most human suffering comes from regret over the past, and concern about the future. A close second in the tier of suffering was desire. There’s a reason almost all ancient schools of thought, from philosophy to religions, try to dissuade one from coveting.
I certainly haven’t reached some heightened state of enlightenment, and I’m not sure if such a thing even exists, but I can attest that personally, I am in a much more peaceful and content state of mind than at any other point in my life. Understanding that the Earth continues to orbit the sun and rotate on its axis, whether you are happy or not, is a good first step. Things actually are the way they are and all you have to do is accept that; and I mean really accept it. Natural disasters kill thousands, climate change is really happening, Donald Trump is really President of the United States, people really can be as shitty to each other as the news portrays…. The list is endless but you don’t have to know everything that is happening everywhere to understand that things are as they are, whether you’re upset about it or not. I’m not suggesting that you not care, or that you don’t get involved in things that could make a difference toward a goal you see as better. What I am suggesting is that you embrace the facts, acknowledge them, and don’t let them create conflict in your headspace where you can’t understand how something could be happening, or why something is the way it is. The goal here is personal: a more peaceful and content state of mind, and acceptance of reality is a big step on the path.
The next step on the path is staying present in the moment. The past is over and the future hasn’t happened. The only moment that really exists is the one we’re in right now. Whatever you’re doing at the moment is where you should try to focus your attention. This is a much more difficult step than acceptance, and will require effort on a daily basis. Our minds have so much capacity for thought, memory, problem solving, creativity and a host of cognitive functions, that it tends to run amok inside our skulls. Thoughts randomly pop up for no particular reason as if our internal hard drives had a virus. First, practice acceptance. Your brain is not your friend. Sure, it keeps you alive and let’s you learn how to make WordPress blogs, but look at this partial list of annoying habits it also has:
- Motivates you to workout. Once.
- Â 7:00 PM. Yo, let’s go to bed. 2:00 AM Hey, let’s stay up forever.
- Insists you forgot something. Won’t tell you what it is.
- Possesses the capacity to store and memorize almost limitless amounts of information. Won’t.
- Passionately hates a song. Won’t stop singing it.
- Convinces you to do something. Makes you feel bad about doing it.
- Recognizes all of its problems. Decides to change nothing.
- Chapped lips? Makes you lick them.
- Can’t understand the human brain. Is a human brain.
Here’s a simple trick that can help you deal with what feels like a scattered, distracted mind: Imagine a small part of your brain as the problem solving section. It loves to churn and turn things over and over, like solving a Rubik’s Cube. It will replay conversations you’ve had in the past and imagine how the conversation would have gone if you said something different. It will anticipate a future event and all the possible ways it could go. It will remind you of all the latest current events. It does all of this and more…. constantly. Ignore it. Picture it as a separate self from you. Talk to it. Tell it, “hey, if you want to sit there and spin around like a washing machine filled with problems, issues and concerns, go ahead. But you’re on your own. I’m not interested.” Relegate this portion of your mind to a corner of your skull and make it face away from you. All the noise it brings will fade to the background as you focus very specifically on whatever task you are doing, no matter how mundane. If you’re washing your hands, feel the water on your skin, see the lather of the soap, the patterns the water makes in the bottom of the sink. The calmer state of mind this will bring is what you’re striving for and you’ll get better with practice.
Now that you’ve got acceptance of reality down, and you’re practicing living in the actual moment that you’re alive in, you’re ready to move toward elimination of desire. Consider what material possessions you currently own that bring you pleasure. Look around you and see if your living space is cluttered. I mean really look at everything. Are your tables and countertops covered with knick knacks? How many sets of dishes do you own? How many mismatched coffee cups? What items have you not used in the last month? Why do you still own them?
If you’ve ever moved, you know that unpacking boxes is an agonizing chore that sometimes never gets finished. The garage will have a corner filled with unopened boxes and periodically you see them there, feel a tinge of guilt, and then wonder what’s in them. Whatever it is, you obviously don’t need it. Taoists teach that we don’t really own anything. Even our thoughts. They’re just passing by and you can use them or not, but you don’t possess them. Remove your attachment to things, both material and emotional, and you will be a more peaceful version of you. If you feel grief, go ahead and feel it. But when it passes, let it pass. You were walking in the sunshine and saw something that made you smile, whether a bird, or someone’s puppy, enjoy the feeling until it naturally fades and then let it fade. It wasn’t yours to own and hold onto, it was just a moment to live in and enjoy or in the case of grief, to live in and lament, until it ends of its own accord. And it will. Be assured of that, accept it and embrace it.
This was initially going to be a very short blog post, poking at myself for the irony of being a minimalist at Christmas. The pros are that my friends and family don’t have to fret over what to get me because I don’t want anything so they’ve already given me exactly what I want. The cons are that I can’t think of anything to get anyone else. But when I started actually writing, it took on a more serious tone as I tried to work out exactly what it is I think of when I think of minimalism and how I live each day in practice. I enjoyed the exercise very much, and now I will let it go because it has run its course.
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