Austerity!

I abhor spending money. Perhaps traumatized by a lifetime of excess spending brought on by a stay-at-home spouse with time on her hands, to raising a bunch of kids, I take great pleasure now in spending as little as possible. Over the long Thanksgiving Day holiday, I vowed to entertain myself for the 4 day span without spending a dime. Mission Accomplished.

Throughout my life I’ve always procrastinated when it came to cutting the wild mane atop my head. In my youth, I grew it long and unruly, but then the Army decided I would cut it all off, and keep it off. After 5 years of frequent, painfully bad haircuts, I left the service of our nation and returned to my procrastinating ways. Typically, I’d look in the mirror and think to my self, “self, you need a haircut.” A month or so later, after trying to tame the beast with all manner of hair products, I’d eventually engage in the arduous and dull task of driving to a local styling franchise and paying too much money for a haircut I’d usually not like anyway.

About a month ago, I was in the familiar position of having a mop of uncooperative cowlicks on my head and I started dreading the drive to Super Cuts, the waiting, the inquiry about how I’d like it styled, and the bill.  Suddenly, I recalled a favorite story I’d read in college about how Keith Richards liked to cut his own hair on the plane while on tour, and would wind up looking like a rooster with his hair standing on end at various lengths. That is so rock star. That brought back another memory of cutting my comrades’ hair during Desert Shield (once Shield became Storm, no one cared about haircuts anymore). After seeing them butcher each other and wind up looking like cats with mange, I set up shop and got accolades for my styling skills.  I pondered and headed to the bathroom to check what supplies I had. Using a beard trimmer with only a couple of attachments, and a pair of scissors I used for trimming my mustache, I bravely assaulted my head.

The skills returned as if they’d been only patiently waiting to be summoned. I clipped, trimmed, combed and styled and before long, I had an imperfect, but acceptable trim. I admired my handiwork and rejoiced in the $21 savings and the priceless elimination of having to leave my home. At that moment, I decided I would be a self-stylist for the remainder of my days. I was almost giddy adding up the savings. However, I knew one investment would be required.

I visited the local beauty and hair product emporium (Wal*Mart) and picked up the Wahl home hair cutting kit ranked as the #1 budget system on some website I read standing in the aisle. $20 seemed like a steal, so I was happy to make the purchase. Finally, the day arrived: I needed a haircut again. Armed like a professional, I fearlessly took my hair to task and emerged with a finished product I couldn’t be prouder of.

Assuming a haircut every month or so, I will save anywhere from $200-$250 each year for the remainder of my days, not to mention all those damn trips to the barber, and will always sport a look that is truly my own.